Mom of the year vs Mother Failure

Sometimes I feel like I’m starring in my own version of a Superman episode. One moment I’m wearing my cape and rocking the whole “Super Mom” stance (feet apart, hands on hips, boobs out, chin up!) and the next minute I’ve returned to a Clark Kent version of myself, boring and defeated. For the sake of clarity let me explain the two versions of myself.


Super Mom

I’m a Pinterest bloody rockstar! Facebook bragging is about to commence. Not only are my babies being kept busy with stacking Oatees onto spaghetti to improve fine hand eye co-ordination and doing tummy time whilst singing an array of nursery rhymes, but I am standing in the kitchen cooking a fabulous dinner of bangers and mash, of which I’ve cut up to make little piggy noses for Mieke (Peppa Pig fan of note!) and I’m fiddling with one of my latest crafts for one of the girls. To top it all off I’m looking super sexy in my jeans and boots, my mascara’d eyelashes are fluttering away and I smell of soap. Yes ladies, soap! Mamma found time to have a shower! The house is clean, the cat and bunnies are fed, my latest stack of tests have been marked and I’m feeling on top of the world!

Mother Failure

So Hunnie, aka the husband, arrives home from work to find Mieke still in her pyjamas thrown down on the floor having a full on tantrum. Mia is making certain the entire neighbourhood knows she is opposed to her current tummy time. And me? Well, I’m standing in front of the fridge searching for something else to make for dinner because I charcoaled the first attempt whilst deciding if I should bury myself in the last slice of chocolate cake left over from the weekend. My pony from last night is sitting above my left ear, I’m still wearing my pyjamas, haven’t showered yet in, um... I think 2 days? And to put the cherry on top: I have 2 growing wet stains on the front of my shirt as my lactating boobs remind me it’s time to feed Mia.

So sure, being Mother Failure sucks. I’d love to be Super Mom every day of the week. That amount of confidence and “I’m on top of this” feeling is what I think we as mothers hope for every day. The “Touched by an Angel” glow one gets on a good day that makes other moms look at you in awe and start asking you for parenting advice. But there are those days that just slip away from us, the ones where everything falls apart and we feel out of control and useless. Heck, it doesn’t even have to be a whole day. There have been moments like when Mieke has had a meltdown in the middle of Woolies and all I wanted to do was try figure out where I went wrong. How did my angel-face go from sweetness itself to apocalyptic terrorist within a split second? I’ve obviously done something wrong based on some of the judgy judgers judgemental stares as they walk past my scene of shame whilst trying to enjoy their shopping.

The reality of the situation is we can’t have perfect days every day. Not with this sort of outlook on motherhood anyway. Pick up your stained and torn cape mom! Tie it with pride around your neck, brush the cookie crumbs out of your hair and go and cuddle your baby. Because the truth of it is you are doing the best that you can, and that’s all your baby wants. Who cares if the bed hasn’t been made? It doesn’t matter if the kids feet are dirty, everyone is still in their pyjamas and you just didn’t feel like wearing make-up today. Tomorrow no-one will remember that you didn’t make supper and ordered take-outs instead. You are a dam superhero because you were there, you were present. And sure, everyone was having a meltdown and the day might have been exhausting but you never gave up. You never walked out of the door. Nobody expects you to be perfect all of the time. But let me tell you something; that desire you have to make everything perfect all of the time, that drive within you to keep trying until you get it right. THAT is what makes you Super Mom!